Meditation Articles Series


19 Feb 2009

Talking to others who gave meditation a go and then gave up on it, I learnt that it wasn’t that they couldn’t, it was simply that they had expectations of what meditation should and shouldn’t be. When their expectations weren’t met, they became disappointed.

How often are you disappointed when you have an expectation of someone or something? You enter a relationship, for example, and you expect your partner to love and respect you. When they don’t you’re miserable. You have expectations of your children, how they should behave, what they should be doing with their lives. When they don’t do the things you want them to do you get angry, resentful, and controlling. Have you noticed that with expectations come a lot of shoulds and shouldn’ts?

In meditation what shows up is exactly what is meant to show up. If the mind is agitated some days, then that is what’s happening. If the body is restless and uncomfortable that too is what is happening. If there are moments of peace, and joy that is also what is happening in that moment. Just stepping aside and watching what is going on, like you’re watching a movie, and a part of you knows it’s just a movie. Doing this is helping me more and more not to be so invested in my stuff. I may still get upset about things and what others do or don’t do for me, (my expectations), but I’m learning to watch as the emotion, or thought behind the feeling passes through. As the Buddha said, “All is anicca, anicca, anicca.” In other words everything is rising and falling and passing away.

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