Fragrant Heart Blog

There usually arises at some point in time in the spiritual journey that there is a yearning to be with a teacher who can help guide and develop our spiritual awareness.

There are so many spiritual teachers around the world that it can be quite confusing as to whom to choose.  Some initiates have dreams in which their teacher appears.  Others go through a trial and error process of finding a teacher, and will often have several teachers in a lifetime.  Some people it would seem stumble upon their teacher and have a strong intuitive knowing that this is their direction spiritually.

If you want someone to deepen your connection, and help you to awaken to your divinity then these guidelines may be of use to you.

Because you are entrusting an often fragile and vulnerable part of yourself to a teacher, it’s a good idea to check out their credentials just as you would if you were going to a counsellor, therapist, or other professional.  As you may be fully aware, many people give away their authority to someone whom they consider to be wiser, and have more knowledge than themselves.  This can be very dangerous as a lot of ‘spiritual’ teachers are full of ego.  As a result followers have often ended up disempowered, abused sexually, physically and mentally, and losing their worldly goods.

Ask yourself these questions:

Are they kind, and compassionate?

Do they respect and honour their students, never abuse or manipulate them in any way whatsoever?

Are they willing to share their wisdom and the teachings from a higher source than themselves?

Are they humble? 

Do they serve others with love and devotion, or do they serve their own needs?

If you do join a bona fide spiritual group or organization also be aware that even if the teacher is tireless in her or his heart centred teachings that followers may have other agendas.  I have never yet been in any group that didn’t!  And often these people who are just like you will set themselves apart as special and try to control others, especially newcomers.

Don’t be naïve in your spiritual quest.  Talk with others.  Do research on the internet if that is appropriate.  Take your time before you commit to anyone, or anything.  Trust your response.  If something doesn’t feel right even if you cannot rationalize why, trust your intuition and keep away.  Sometimes getting out of a spiritual group or organization is a lot harder than getting in.

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Here’s an idea.  Look around your home.  Is it cluttered?  Do you have clothes you haven’t worn for a year or more?  Do you have unfinished projects that have been sitting idle for so long?  Do your cupboards bulge with stuff that falls out when you open them?  What about taking a day, you may need even longer, and clear out all the things you haven’t used, you no longer care for, or you have never got around to fixing or restoring.  Let it all go.  Give it away to someone else who would cherish, and make good use of it. 

Now sit back and immerse yourself in how that feels to let go of the clutter.  Feel what it’s like to live more spaciously. 

And when you meditate be aware of what that is like to keep on allowing your thoughts to come and go, without becoming attached to them.  Experience what it’s like to have an uncluttered mind.

Here in Auckland, New Zealand, it’s a warm balmy summer.  The cicadas sing throughout the day, and people stroll down to the beach for a cooling swim.  This morning the air felt cooler as I ran up the path on my way to the city.  It comes almost as a surprise that the season is changing.  And yet our body's knowing is already  attuning to a new season.  For those of you living in the Northern Hemisphere, you will probably be feeling that ‘spring is just around the corner.’ 

Yesterday I threw out ten years’ of journal writing.  It took a few hours to tear out and burn pages of all my deepest, and often darkest thoughts.  Now and again I would stop and read a line or two.  I found myself laughing at how seriously I had taken my thoughts.  But then I discovered some lines of verse I had written in a spiritual development group and I thought I’d like to share them with you.

The verse is called, “The Seasons.”

“Spring, gentle rain, tiny flowers that open,

and fall in a cascade of pink outside my window.

Glorious wind tugging at my ears,

Young goslings paddling in mud puddles, and mother goose freed once more from nesting to pull the tender grass shoots.

Summer greenery, refined in your splendour,

Draped as leaves over the flame tree, shelter for birds,

and shade for us as we picnic under your embrace.

Autumn lady, naked now, your burnished leaves can no longer hide you.

You are sculpted in starkness, defining a time for reflection and inner journeying.

Winter comes, the sun low on the horizon, quickening to darkness.

Cold, starry nights, the aura of the moon filling the domed heavens,

Love snuggled under quilts, and gaiety dancing in the fire’s embers.

Jump out now on the morning’s crisp frosty grass, pink toes tingling, cries of, “Ouch! Ouch!”

And you Winter, spiralling mist over the bay, cast like a soft sheen of silk, waiting for the tender call of spring to ripen and soften into the fullness of summer once more.”

And we too being part of nature are like the seasons with our thoughts which are rising, and falling, and passing away.  And in meditation we can take the opportunity to observe change, to open to change, in stillness and silence.

The secret to happiness seems to lie in having no expectations.  Are you like me that whenever you had, or still have expectations of someone or something you invariably end up disappointed?  It comes about because that person or thing didn’t live up to what I had expected.  In other words, I was let down.  After all I had made a long list of how they should or shouldn’t be, do, and have.  When you think about it, it can really turn into a nightmare to have any expectations at all.  Think of all the mental effort that goes into expecting something from someone else, or something else.  Expectation equals disappointment.  Disappointment leads often to misery.  Misery causes contraction in both the mind, and the body.  Mentally it manifests as judging, comparing, criticizing, ridiculing and condemning.  Physically it creates stress, and stress as we know leads to all sorts of body imbalances, like high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer and so on.

So when you meditate drop all expectations.  Let go any expectation of an outcome.  If you don’t it will only cause you frustration and lack of fulfilment.  It’s like, for example, the person who meditates for the high state of bliss.  When that doesn’t happen they are discouraged in their practice.  Approach meditation with acceptance, allowing whatever to arise in each moment to be as it is.  And even if an expectation does arise, allow that too!

Many people project outwardly a very positive countenance.  They don’t voice negative thoughts when talking with others.  This is a good start. However, it would be very rare for just about anybody to have a constantly positive inner dialogue. 

Just by observing how the mind keeps on producing thoughts in meditation, I believe it becomes possible over time to be very conscious of the validity, or not of our thoughts.  As this happens there is more discrimination in the sorts of thoughts being voiced.  Awareness of our thoughts over time brings about a more positive outlook.  As this happens we let go of inner doubts and self-deprecation.  As we free ourselves from inner negative self talk we become compassionate not only to ourselves but to those with whom we interact.