Fragrant Heart Blog

I met a person who had tried yoga and walked out half way through the class.  She also tried meditation and found she “didn’t need it.”  I visited her home and while she constantly complained about her situation the local radio station blared out ads and music.  For this person there is not a moment in the day that is not being filled up in some way.  Not that I’m saying that yoga and meditation are for everyone, or that you don’t need to plan or organize your day.  What I witnessed was a person who was very stressed, anxious and fearful, but not willing to persevere to do anything about her unhappy state. 

This person may have found that anything that required a quietening or stilling of her body and mind to be a very frightening thing to do.  She may have had good intentions to start but then discovered she became even more agitated as the yoga or meditation sessions continued.  When this happens we so often dismiss meditative practices as useless, unnecessary, or a waste of time. 

I remember my first ten-day retreat.  I had left my young daughter in the care of a trusted friend of whom she was very fond.  During days one and two of the meditation course all I could think about every time I sat to meditate was how my daughter needed me and I had to go home.  I to marvelled at how I even started to catastrophise that the house was burning down!  This came after I had a thunderbolt understanding of just how agitated my mind was.  I was so used to this state of agitation that just sitting still meditating was excruciatingly unpleasant.  That’s how I judged it, and it’s often at that point that people give up.  Well, I did hang in, and certainly after the third day my body and mind quietened.  I knew beyond all doubt that meditation was going to be the foundation of my daily life.

Helpful Hints When You Feel Agitated in Meditation Practice.

Here are some useful tips that may help you if you find yourself not the least bit calm and peaceful in your meditation practice.

1. Make sure your posture is comfortable, and loosen any tight clothing.
2. Accept whatever is arising.
3. Know that this too will pass.
4. Have deep compassion for yourself.  Don’t berate yourself, or think that you are not doing meditation properly.
5. Keep on gently coming back to your one pointed focus.
6. If you start to feel overwhelmed, locate the strongest sensations in your body and breathe in and out of them.
7. After your meditation let go of analysing and judging what happened, or not.
8. Come back to your next meditation letting go of all preconceived ideas of how it should or shouldn’t be.

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Do you have a book that is a well-thumbed, well-worn favourite, a book that you pick up from time to time that inspires and delights you?

One of my favourite books is a collection of Rumi’s poems, translated by Coleman Barks with John Moyne.  Rumi was a mystic who lived in the 13^th Century in the country now called Afghanistan.

Often I will pick up the book and just open at any page.  What is so applicable for something happening in my life is phrased in the poetic words and images on that page.

At the beginning of a chapter in the book there is a profound story called, “On the Unseen”.  It’s about meditation, and I would like to type it out for you, and you may enjoy reading it.  It may help you to appreciate your own unique journey in meditation.

“Ibn Khafif Shirazi tells this story: “I heard that there were two great masters in Egypt, so I hurried to reach their presence.  When I arrived, I saw two magnificent teachers meditating.  I greeted them three times but they did not answer.  I meditated with them for four days.  Each day I begged them to talk with me, since I had come such a long way.  Finally the younger one opened his eyes.  ‘Ibn Khafif, life is short.  Use the portion that’s left to deepen yourself.  Don’t waste time greeting people!’  I asked him to give me some advice.  ‘Stay in the presence of those who remind your of your lord, who not only speak wisdom, but are that.’  Then he went back into meditation.”  Ibn Khafif was being taught the importance of having his own experience of the unseen, and not to fret so much about the forms of greeting people, hearing wisdom, and about what we should be doing.”

I receive a lot of emails from dedicated meditators all over the world who come across our Fragrant Heart website.  I notice that each one of them as they write feels really good about what they are doing in their meditation practice.  Some are beginners and find the site helpful.  Each person shares an enthusiasm for meditation, and how it is changing their life in positive ways.

If you are reading this blog and wondering about getting started in a meditation practice here are some suggestions.

Write down all the ways you believe that meditation would be of benefit to you.  Now be really honest with yourself and ask yourself what stops you from meditating.  Then ask yourself if you get a response to meditate despite all the reasons not to.  If you do, then focus on the benefits you have written down.  Begin a meditation practice and each day read over your list of benefits.  These become your ongoing positive thoughts that make sense, and make you feel good about yourself, and your practice. 

How seriously do you take your thoughts?  I notice that when I am meditating thoughts are passing on through some of the time.  Well, yes some thoughts can tend to hang about for a while.  Sometimes thought after thought arises and I am observing them but not giving them any extra energy like consciously connecting another thought to the previous one.  In meditation I see how clearly the job of the mind is to just keep on creating thought, after thought, after thought.  It’s no wonder that by the end of the day most of us have had about 60,000 thoughts pass through our minds.  And do you know that the repetition of those thoughts day after day are creating your future?  It can be scary to realize that if a lot of those thoughts are focused on negative aspects of ourselves then we begin to create the very experiences to reinforce what we think.  Have you ever had a relationship with someone that broke up and you then went on to the next relationship only to find the same patterns playing out yet again?  Why did that happen?  Your thoughts about yourself created the same dynamics that played out albeit with a new player. 

Meditation helps me to lighten up, and not take my thoughts so seriously.