Fragrant Heart Blog

I drive just about every day now in dense traffic.  Often it’s bumper-to-bumper getting on to, and over the harbour bridge. 

Recently in our city of Auckland, a driver was beaten unconscious by an enraged motorist because he accidentally knocked into his vehicle.  The battered man later died in hospital.  This is an extreme outcome of road rage.  As I drive, I notice people’s frustrations behind the wheel as they cut off other vehicles, slam on their breaks, and make intimidating hand gestures, and shout abusive words!

I also witness my own responses and reactions to driving in heavy traffic.  Sometimes I feel pressure building up inside me to get to my mother’s on time.  It’s an old response to childhood conditioning to always be punctual.  Even though I have often berated myself that this pattern is now inappropriate, I still at times feel under pressure that I might be late.  One day I said to myself, “I can change this.  I can use this time to increase my awareness, and inner stillness.”  And I have.  I’ll share it with you.

I have discovered that driving in busy traffic is a unique opportunity to calm my mind, and relax my body.  Driving can become one pointed focus, but doesn’t require sitting cross-legged, and certainly not closing your eyes!  Back in the past I would tell myself to relax.  Now as soon as you say to yourself, or someone else, “relax”, the immediate response is to become tense.  Try it, and you’ll see what I mean.  So here is the secret.  As I drive along I become aware of the breath as I breathe in, and as I breathe out.  If I catch myself breathing shallowly, which happens to all of us under stressful conditions, I immediately breathe into my belly.  I remain aware of my belly moving out on the inward breath, and flattening on the outward breath.  This doesn’t distract me from the mechanical responses to driving the car.  Now the pressure to get there “at all costs” disappears.  I remain calm, and I am even more focused and relaxed moving through traffic.  Having a smile on my face gives me a sense of inner peace, and connectedness to my fellow motorists.

Next time you are caught in bumper-to-bumper traffic become aware of the breath as you breathe in, and as you breathe out, and notice the difference it makes to your ability to concentrate on your driving.

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Dr Enescu is a prominent neurologist in New Jersey. He was interviewed in the book, ‘Choices and Illusions’ by Eldon Taylor. (Published 2007)

When asked, “Why do you believe meditation to be so important?” he answered,

“We cannot progress with spirituality without learning about meditation. Meditation is so much more important than just relaxing, and it is different from praying. I was brought up as a Greek Orthodox Christian, and they believe in praying a lot. However, I see praying as “speaking to God,” whereas meditation is “listening to God.” Most people simply do not want to spend time working in something that seems so ambiguous, but the rewards are there for those who do.”

What is an Inner Critic that can often turn into a bully? A bullying Inner Critic is an abuser who puts someone else down and denigrates them in some way that makes them feel bad about themselves. Have you considered that you may have your own Inner Critic? This Inner Critic will give you destructive messages from time to time. These messages usually came from our parents when we were children. Because we were powerless as children, we believed our parents and so internalised the messages we got from them.

Some of the messages you may have received are:

You’re clumsy.

You’ll never be as smart as him/her.

You’re stupid and incompetent.

You’re unlovable.

You’re unattractive.

Your ideas and opinions are wrong.

You’re unacceptable.

Your feelings and experiences don’t matter.

When you meditate you may hear some of these messages arising within you. You will come back to your one pointed focus, and like any other thought let it pass by. But what do you do when you are not meditating and that inner voice with its bullying message starts to denigrate you?

Here are some steps to help you:

1. If you can, become aware of this voice as a voice from the past. It is not you, but it can destabilize you very quickly making you go unconscious and beating yourself up. When you are aware of what is happening you can do something about it. That’s really important to know.
2. Breathe; yes, that’s right, become aware of the breath just as you may do in your meditation technique. Replace agitation, (which you’ll feel in some part of your body and not like), with the breath. Take some long, slow, breaths, breathing in and breathing out consciously. This will help your muscles to relax, and reduce the outpouring of adrenalin, which creates stress.
3. At the same time observe what is passing by. It’s just a thought after all, albeit a destructive thought. Change the thought by telling your Inner Critic, “That’s not true.” For example, “I am loveable,” or “My ideas and opinions are valid.”

At first you may have to be quite proactive. In time you will be able to observe the Inner Critic as trying to undermine you but no longer destroying your beauty and goodness.

Last week a friend and I went along to listen to a small group of visiting monks chanting. These monks, along with the Dalai Lama are exiled from their homeland, Tibet, and live in India. This little group of monks have been in Australasia for a year raising awareness about Tibet.

The chanting began with deep resonating sounds from the monk leading the group. Then all the monks began to chant. Everyone sat still and silent absorbing sounds that are not so familiar to western ears. I found the intensity of the chanting affecting my throat. My throat area was buzzing. I will ask others as I meet them again how they were affected by the chanting.

What is a Mantra?

Most probably much of the chanting was repetition of mantras. Mantras are groups of sounds and syllables repeated again and again, usually out loud. Mantra chanting forms the basis of many meditation practices throughout the world.

The Benefits of Mantras

Chanting a mantra can help to ‘awaken’ your voice and also be a form of meditation for you. This will bring you into the present moment where you can experience balance and stillness just as any other meditation technique is designed to do.

Here are some mantras that you may feel drawn to chant. Chant them in a way that suits you.

OM NAMAH SHIVAYA

This mantra is of Indian origin from the ancient Sanskrit language as are the following two mantras. It literally means, “I bow to Shiva, I bow to my Inner Self.” Shiva is a powerful god in Indian culture. Repeating the syllables according to Indian traditions purify our bodies, grants abundance, and leads to spiritual realization.

SAT NAM

This mantra means ‘truth is thy name.’ According to Eastern philosophy this sacred sound brings healing especially if your self esteem and confidence are low.

RA MA DA SA SA SAY SO HUNG

This mantra translates as ‘Sun – Moon – Earth – Infinity – All that is Infinity – I am thee.’ Within the eight sounds of this mantra lies the energy of the Kundalini. The rising of the Kundalini in the physical body through certain practices including mantras awakens our spiritual nature. This mantra is also said to improve health and well-being.

I AM – I AM – I AM – HERE NOW HERE

This is a mantra in English, which reinforces that we are here in this moment, not the past, nor the future, but here now.

Just imagine the day when meditation becomes mainstream like going to the gym. We haven’t reached a critical mass of meditators yet for that to be commonplace. When that does happen we would see a people taking greater responsibility for their thoughts and actions. Perhaps we wouldn’t have the same often, insatiable desires to fill ourselves up from the outside to make us feel happy.

Dr Kabat-Zinn writes about meditation:

“Dwelling in stillness and looking inward for some part of each day, we touch what is most real and reliable in ourselves and most easily overlooked and undeveloped. When we can be centred in ourselves, even for brief periods of time in the face of the pull of the outer world, not having to look elsewhere for something to fill us up or make us happy, we can be at home wherever we find ourselves, at peace with things as they are, moment by moment.”