Fragrant Heart Blog

It’s great to be able to blog again after a few weeks absence from Fragrant Heart. And perhaps I can write this blog about what I have witnessed with my mother moving from the family home after living there since she was a young bride sixty-one years ago. My mother loved her old home. She had many fond memories over those years. It had been her first real home since she was a child and one she loved and appreciated. Dad built the home for her and crafted it with fine workmanship. She had raised her children there, and had celebrated many festive occasions with family and friends throughout the years.

Once my mother made the decision to move she stayed focused on slowly getting rid of things she no longer needed, cleaning out all the cupboards, and packing up. She began to visualize how her furniture would be placed in her new home, and finally she said goodbye to her old neighbours and her bridge club.

The Greater the Attachment, the Greater the Pain

A friend of mine says, “The greater the attachment, the greater the pain.” My mother let go all attachment to her old home. It was a great privilege to watch her in that letting go, seeing her moving in her elder years with ease and grace, joy and optimism into a whole new way of life. There was no struggle to go, there was no sadness in leaving. Simply there was no attachment.

Non-Attachment

Holding on to things causes misery. I like to think that I can learn from my mother’s example and live my own life more and more in the same unattached manner. Attachment and fear go together. Attachment to something, or someone binds us in ways that reduce our confidence, independence, and ability to accept change. So often we hold onto things and others because we are afraid that if we let go we will lose something. In that loss we are terrified of being lonely, and empty. Often giving something up when it is no longer appropriate for our well-being opens the Universal door to something else in which we can flourish and thrive. I am happy to say that my mother is indeed flourishing and thriving in her new abode surrounded by caring new neighbours, and a lovely garden filled with trees and shrubs.

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Email to a friend

My friend and I have been emailing back and forth this past week. For three months now he has been having a lot of back pain that has immobilized him at times. Despite all sorts of therapies and medication he has still not recovered. Right now he is in a phase of physical limitation whereby he can only hobble about using walking sticks.

Well, the other night he emailed me to say that he had had a breakthrough in his attitude toward his bad back. He wrote that he had finally taken responsibility for his own healing, and that he had accepted that he was restricted in getting about. He had stopped struggling. His acceptance of what is, rather than how things should be gave him a great sense of relief. Since then amazing results have happened. He is walking about without focusing on his pain, and he is walking with greater ease.

Meditation is healing

In meditation thoughts arise. If we struggle against these thoughts they become even stronger. It’s a bit like having a bad back; if we struggle against the pain it becomes stronger. Once my friend accepted and allowed what was happening his pain has decreased. In meditation when we accept that thoughts arise and allow them to be there and to pass away without hanging onto them, we then stop struggling with the mind just as my friend stopped struggling with his mental thoughts. This is a state of awareness and freedom. This creates inner peace and calm. My friend calls it a sense of relief. Either way, as a result the body relaxes and without the hindering mental emotional tension the body can heal itself. We go from struggle to serenity, from hindering to healing.